So this is the first post to a journal in a long time. I am kind of taken aback by the idea that the only journal I write on is read by people. And indeed it makes it a letter to those who read it and not really a journal.
I am tired of being lonely. I am tired of the knowledge that I might never be one with anyone again. I am terrified by the idea that I might live the rest of my life alone.
I have carried on the road i started so long ago. I have walked so far into it... that I myself recognize how foreign and bizarre the idea of what I believe in might sound to some people. I am tired of being afraid of sounding weird and it is so paradoxical because the instance somebody gives me the 'you're crazy' look I lose any respect I have for them.
I'm tired of this american complacency of everything. I am tired of not being treated as a person but as a target market. I am tired of walking through seas of zombies and robots and see their faces of disdain, them, even them lost in the darkness...with arrogance in their faces. Yet I guess no one lacks it. I am tired of the values that we place on things and ideas. I am tired of intolerance and ignorance. I am tired of assimilation and laziness.
Who is going to fight for you and me, if not you and me?
Damn caffeine gets me in a bad mood.
Disregard this, but don't.